Just so you know...

I didn't die on my walk. In fact, I didn't even come close to dying. I got back from the walk about an hour later and felt like giving up on the whole live blogging thing. Giving up has been a common theme for me lately. It's what this whole unemployment experience feels like, although I alternate between feeling like I have given up on life and feeling like life has given up on me. Having so much going on before--birthdays in November, grad school classes, internship, holidays, work, etc.--it feels like my life has just come to a stop. An abrupt stop. An abrupt stop made even worse by the fact that the lives of everyone around me keep moving forward.

Sometimes I am pissed about the whole thing and pissed at everyone with their it's going to be alright and their well, I hate my job anyway, and other times I am feeling alone like no one will ever understand how I feel even though this is something that millions of people go through all the time. And right now, writing this, I'm feeling like a brat because here I am whining about what to do with my Masters degree and mourning the loss of my part time job, which I never really liked anyway, when I am healthy, I have a roof over my head, I have an amazing, supportive group of family and friends and a husband who is here at home, not fighting in a foreign country, and has a well paying job with health benefits that we know will be there tomorrow and the day after that.

My life is not perfect, but I have got it all.