Party Time!

Happy Virtual Enagement Party to Jen!

Lindsey and I put our heads together, because two heads are always better than one, and decided to relieve you of some wedding planning stress and write your vows for you. I know, I know, it's such a grand gesture, but it's the least we can do for someone as awesome as you. And, because we are awesome too, we decided to incorporate your favorite poem into the mix. Enjoy!

Dear Joel,

This morning I cried
Not because I was sad
Not because something was wrong
But because we’re getting married
For once I feel a sense of wanting to stay home barefoot and pregnant with our lovechild
I find myself wanting to give oral in over abundance to someone special
Someone that allows me to talk about any and everything
Someone that admires my cats
Someone whose laugh sends tingles through my body
It seems as if that year (and that other year, and the other one too) of waiting for you to finally propose to me never existed
We’ve stepped back in without missing a beat…
I find myself touching and caressing myself every hour on the hour (sometimes even twice)
But in my mind I’m visioning someone other than you
At this moment of intimate thought my hands are no longer my hands they are Brad Pitt’s
Exploring the cavernous depths of my woman hood
Indulging in my warm and my moist treasure that I am sure you would enjoy, like a warm, moist Betty Crocker cake fresh out of the oven
As I continue to explore and reach a climax from the indescribable and long awaited sensation from Brad Pitt’s touch
I shed a single tear
Yes, one single tear
For it is at this moment that I realize that I miss you immensely and how much I long for your touch…
(but first I must finish up with Brad Pitt)

Joel,
I open myself up to you
I am ready to be naked and freaky with you
I give you
My Heart
My Mind
My Soul
but mostly My Body
And all of my issues (especially those concerning Brad Pitt)
While thinking my inner most thoughts
I (literally) open myself up to the touch of your hands
I am passionate about the touch of your lips
Right this moment I am longing for the touch of your body co-existing with mine
I can’t wait to spend the rest of our lives wrapped in the thought of you loving me
Loving me in ways I thought were only meant for fairy tale romances or low budget porn movies

And again I cried
Not because I am sad
Not because of something being wrong
But because I know it’s really over for me and Brad Pitt

2/15/08
11:51 am

Happy Enagement, Jen!

We know you're going to make a lovely bride...

In fact, you might even say, you'll look just as good as a celebrity!

Heart!

Sarah & Lindsey